Self Isolation

(photograph by Steve Ullathorne)

Something that writers have been doing for centuries, so it’s no big deal for most of us, only difference is we’ve now been ordered to do it by the Government to save lives and protect the NHS. So for the first time in my life I don’t feel guilty eating chocolate digestives and watching a cat pissing like a dog against a lamppost on youtube.

- What are you doing in there?

- I’m working!

- I can hear you laughing.

- I’ve just written something really funny..

I’m not convincing my other half, she knows me too well.

I had a Zoom read-through the other day for a play I’ve written for this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe with eleven comedians, including Jason Byrne, Andrew Maxwell, Marcus Brigstocke, Stephen K Amos, Dave Johns, Tony Law to name but a few, plus a stage manager and the director Guy Masterson. It went as well as could be expected as we all knew deep down that the Fringe isn’t happening this year. As I write this on the 31st March 2020, the Edinburgh Fringe organisers have not yet officially cancelled, although everyone else knows it’s only a matter of time.

The latest update from Chief Executive Shona McCarthy was as follows ‘We have been in regular contact with the Scottish Government, City of Edinburgh Council, venues, partners and stakeholders to work through all the options and find a solution.’ Maybe they are secretly working on a vaccine?

The following lyrics are inspired by Bob Dylan’s ‘Desolation Row’.

ISOLATION ROW

Nobody’s selling postcards, the passports are still brown

The beauty parlour’s empty, the circus has left town

Here comes the blind Prime Minister, looks like he’s in a trance

One hand is tied to Cummings, the other down his pants

And the riot squad are restless, they need somewhere to go

As my wife and I look out tonight from Isolation Row.

Owen O’Neill